by Dr. James Sutton, Psychologist
I've written a number of books in my career, but none of them have provided a sense of challenge and fulfillment as much as my latest project: The Changing Behavior Book: a fresh approach to the difficult child. The inspiration for this book came to me while at a convention in San Diego in the summer of 2007. That's where my eyes and heart were opened to a powerful perspective for encouraging desired behaviors in difficult and defiant young people. That's right, San Diego, California. That's where I learned ...
But wait; hold on a minute. I'm getting ahead of myself. With the understanding that The Changing Behavior Book: a fresh approach to the difficult child is still being written, here is an overview of what the book will offer parents, teachers and caregivers of emotionally and behaviorally challenged youngsters.
This book is written in three parts, with all the chapters in the first and second parts ending with "What Needs to Happen?" (specifics for applying the content of the chapter). All of this is subject to revision and editing, but the following is how The Changing Behavior Book; a fresh approach to the difficult child is constructed.
Part One (Chapters One through Seven)
What is "Bad" Behavior, Anyway?-- An excellent question, isn't it? Don't be surprised when much of the "bad" behavior isn't coming from the youngsters.
Desperate Behavior-- What is desperate behavior, and why is it so resistant to redirection and change? Folks, this one chapter is worth the entire investment in the book.
Why Difficult Behavior Doesn't Change-- Ignorance, fear, thinking and payoffs can make many inappropriate behaviors oblivious to change. Fixing these issues requires a deliberate and focused approach.
The Victim Game-- The perception of need and scarcity can fuel acting-out behavior. De-victimization starts with authentic empowerment and a strategy for managing conflict.
Racing Fuel for Conflict-- There are reasons why some youngsters choose to remain angry instead of resolving it. Breaking through these reasons is critical to improvement.
The Behavior Modification Trap-- B-Mod is a great intervention in some instances, but it's hardly effective at all with most difficult and defiant youngsters. Here's why ... and what you can do about it.
The "Loop"-- Conflict can be self-perpetuating, extremely destructive, and amazingly predictable. This chapter offers insight and strategy for shutting down conflict.
Part Two (Chapters Eight through Thirteen)
Between Heartbeats-- This chapter disputes the notion that change has to be a long and drawn-out process. It can happen, well ... between heartbeats.
The Only Person You Can Change-- No one creates lasting change in others until they first create that change in themselves.
Responsibility (and Something Else)-- If you want others to change, waiting on it is not a good strategy. It takes a better plan. Here it is.
The Miracle Mold-- This chapter explains what captured all my energy and attention at that convention in San Diego (an epiphany, really). This explanation is built around the story of one man's incredible success with what most would consider an impossible situation (criminally insane patients). What's amazing is that most anyone could have done what he did ... but they didn't. I explain the process here; using it can be life-changing.
Putting it to Work-- In this chapter I explain how the material in the previous chapter can be used with children and adolescents.
More Putting it to Work-- Here are the finishing touches of changing behavior while authenticating and deepening relationships.
Part Three (An Appendix: Chapters Fourteen through Twenty)
Dealing with Feelings-- Here's a handy and meaningful model for explaining feelings and how they affect our lives everyday. It works for children ages three to 103.
Soothing in a Square-- Troubled youngsters can have a lot of difficulty soothing themselves in tough circumstances. This in itself can create problems. Here are some strategies for teaching and implementing skills of self-soothing. This one skill can pay off for a lifetime.
Empowering Change-- Change, essentially any change, is scary. Here are some ideas for creating and empowering positive and lasting change.
Attending to "When"-- The "when" of intervention might just be the most important component of the whole intervention process. This chapter considers the many advantages intervention that occurs in front of behavior.
Busting Bad Patterns-- Inappropriate behavior always happens somewhere and some time, no exceptions. The skillful altering of these variables can turn poor behavior around quickly.
Staying Out of the Loop-- Here's a powerful process for managing conflict noncoercively. It can be used in the home, at school, or in the CEO's office.
Exercising Forgiveness and Acceptance-- Difficulties with forgiveness and acceptance have blocked the sun from reaching many lives ... adults as well as children. Here are some thoughts on arriving at healing through forgiveness and acceptance.
As I've said, The Changing Behavior Book: a fresh approach to the difficult child, is very much a work-in-progress. The finished version might differ slightly from what you see here, but it is my hope that the essence and direction of the work has clarity and purpose.
We will first be releasing this book in downloadable e-book format, then in standard paperback. E-books are becoming more popular because of their lower cost and instant access. If you would like to be notified when The Changing Behavior Book: a fresh approach to the difficult child is available, send an email to my office at suttonjd@docspeak.com. Simply put "Changing Behavior" in the subject line; we'll know what you mean.
We are putting these emails in a special, safe folder where no one else will have access to them. We'll send you an email notification when the e-book version is available; no obligation, of course. And that's it.
Thanks for interest in this exciting project.
--James Sutton
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